Saturday, August 29, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
1. I will be in my "Mid to late thirties". Old for having a newborn. I know. I know that every time I go to lift him and my back aches or when I have to ask for help to get up off of the ground after changing him. Oh, I know alright.
2. Jake's poop has turned green. And it comes about once a day--- and believe it or not... this is a welcome change considering before it was yellow and came about... um... ten times a day. Yeah, three cheers for formulated green poop!
3. I will no longer have to accept "You must be poor "stares at the gym because I am trading in my huge orange and white Sony Discman which I bought in the late 90's for an I-pod. For my birthday, of course. We are, of course, still poor. In fact, with the little one more poor than ever, but at least it won't be soo.... OBvious.
4. Jake is starting to sleep in his crib. NOT his car seat... his CRIB. Which is located not ANYwhere, but IN his room. This has it's plusses and minuses, but most importantly, my husband and I will be sleeping in our OWN room together, and ALONE. A VERY welcome change.
5. The maternity pants will be boxed up and put away. I realize they still fit, and rather comfortably I might add. However, I have seen Stacy London humiliate someone on national television for not putting away the maternity garments and securing some "regular" pants that fit appropriately within a reasonable timeline of the baby's birth. It's been a solid six weeks... And while I will always have fond memories of pants that are basically elasticized from the knees up- it IS time to put them away.
6. I will be exiting a weight that is so near the two buck mark that I live in a state of constant turmoil and anxiety. Yes, I will. Well, actually, this hasn't happened YET, but I am guessing by the time I do my Weight Watchers Weekly Weigh-in on Thursday that this WILL be the case. If it is NOT the case, I can safely predict that the husband will have to deal with some sort of emergency meltdown ending in me spending money NOT on the NON-maternity pants I spoke of earlier, but some nice shoes and perhaps some other accessories, like a necklace or something. So either way- I can see the silver lining here.
I know, not exactly a stellar list here. But ya know... humor me here people. I realize there will be a day when life's significance will not be associated wtih poop and fat...I am, however, not holding my breath.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Once upon a time there was a beautiful little prince. He was a special and handsome little boy, and people across the country heard of this extraordinary prince and wanted desperately to meet him. He became very educated and was skilled at many things. He could build a house, ride a horse, scale the tallest mountains, and swim the deepest seas.
One day, it became evident to the queen that it was time for him to marry. A bulletin was posted and ladies throughout the land came to vie for his hand in marriage. After a series of tests were administered, a group of special and beautiful ladies, that were purported to be a good match, were introduced to the prince. The prince then chose carefully the lucky lady that would be his wife.
So they married and had a bunch of annoying babies that had the worst colic anyone had ever seen.
After finally getting him to sleep, and then myself to sleep, I awoke groggily remembering my "bedtime" story, feeling what I am sure is to be the first of many guilty pangs I will experience as a mother. Luckily for all of us, due to some formula adjustments, I suspect the colic is subsiding. Hopefully his bedtime stories will start to have some happier endings.
Friday, August 7, 2009
1. Frustrating trip to Ace Hardware to pick up potting soil and seeds... leave having spent 50 bucks and a royal headache.
2. Hours bent over pots at 8 months pregnant resulting in severe backache and yet another royal headache.
3. Daily trips outside, 8-10 months pregnant, lugging two gallon water bucket 'round the house to water the 50 bucks worth of potting soil and seeds that will grow into breathtakingly beautiful flowers and luscious fruits and veggies that we will generously share with friends and family...?
The Three Pea Pods.
Run, now... don't walk! To get YOUR pick of the litter. I think the bottom middle one looks the best. Of course, since I spent all that time and money, naturally, I took that one for myself. I bit right into that little green splendor of homegrown deliciousness. BUT!! Thing was? NOT so delicous. In fact... horrible. I did you all a favor and put the other two in the garbage.
Can you imagine? Lucky me!! All that fun and glory for only fifty dollars and constant tending in my last month of pregnancy? I can't WAIT 'til next summer.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
There are other things around here that also are getting neglected. Myself for starters. I don't particularly like the shade of pink I chose to paint my toe nails. I stare at it's Pepto Bismol grossness all day- and even all night- and think--- I should change that out. It had looked so pretty in the store. And then it was like "Project of the Century" to get the nails actually clipped, cleaned, preened and painted. It took an entire weekend to do it and I am not even exaggerating on that. So changing it out seems likes a gargantuan undertaking and I could only wish for two free hours of a salon variety pedicure at this point. But really, that seems next to impossible to organize. In due time on that one... due time.
My house has managed to stay relatively together- because I spend virtually every waking free minute trying to keep it that way. I exhaust myself scrubbing the counters and doing the laundry and making the bed ( I don't know why I need to make the bed at this point- considering there is really no "day" or "night" in my world- so it's just a random series of making and UNmaking it ). I will admit, however- that I have let the floors get ahead of me. I don't tell guests that the smudge they see by the couch is actually some spilled breast milk ( DISGUSTING- I SWEAR I keep meaning to clean it up but it never seems to transfer into the hard drive long enough for me to actually go and GET the product, bring it back and actually USE it ), or that the clump of grease on the kitchen floor is from last weeks burger fest ( of which you can still sorta smell the hamburger grease... ewww. ) But really, other than the nasty floors, and the less than average dinners I manage to half-heartedly throw on the table sans any fresh veggies, things are under control there...
Life has become of series of squeezing things into capsules of time, or what we deem 'round here as the "Morning, Afternoon, or Evening Window"... I am okay with it. I am trying to accept a new set of reorganized priorities that I can live with.
There are snippets of time when I look at the baby and think confidently that this is all totally worth it. I keep hearing those snippets of time continue to get larger and longer until one day you can't even imagine life without your child. Until that time, I will wait patiently- or as patiently as I am wired to be- I will serve unhealthy meals and never walk in the house without shoes and paint my toe nails over long weekends when my Mother is here and never EVER plant a garden again- we will watch Bravo for hours on end in our dirty little condo and just be happy waiting.