Taco Pig

All overweight foodies have snuck food. ALL OF THEM. I know. I am one of them. I believe it's a learned trait, but at the same time, if you have ANY self-consciousness at all, there are times it's just darn inappropriate to reach for another snack. And really, life cannot go ON unless you have a bite of the forbidden food, usually in the form of some kind of chocolate tower or bag of crunchy whatsits. Some of my best friends are food sneakers. And I know it even if they haven't told me.
Once while living in a second floor apartment in Chicago, one of my girlfriends ( Stacy*) was over. Mindy* called from her car and mentioned she would come by, too. And since three makes a party let's just go ahead and get Taco Bell and make a fiesta!
She took our orders and then we waited. And waited. We called... no answer. With worrisome, yet empty - no seriously, we cared more about the food, stomachs, we sat on the radiator and peered out the window like anxious little piggies. It was then, in the darkness of the night, I spotted, due to the inexplicably placed street lamp, motion in a nearby car. I motioned Mindy to come and look as well. It was then Mindy exclaimed, "Is that Stacy? In the car? Wait, what is she doing?" Me..." It looks like she is doing something... wait, is she EATING?" We started to roll with laughter. We took this as an oppourtunity to make a joke on her. To be funny, but mostly because we were hungry and we were angry she wouldn't come in and share.
So Stacy came in, nonchalant. She began passing out the delicious Mexican-American dishes when I noticed my order was not right, the sour cream was missing. Mysteriously. And Stacy only gave herself one item while Mindy and I had piles of three. With suppressed giggles, we asked her why she wasn't hungry. Ambivalance.
We asked her why our orders were wrong. Again, ambivalence.
We ate and chomped in silence and then I finally asked her, "That's weird, you have sour cream on your lip, I thought you didn't like sour cream."
She reached for her mouth so quickly I was worried about self-injury.
Mindy could take it no longer and we busted her out... "We were watching you eat Lori's taco from the window, you pig."
When she finally got over the LIE as well as saw the humor we all had a good laugh.
Even now. Poor girl.
She has grown up now, like me... It was over ten years ago. But there will always be a part of me that thinks of her as the girl who ate my taco in secret.

*Names have been changed to protect the piggishness.