Peaks and Valleys

Friday morning, at 21 weeks pregnant, I finally made it into the Doctor's office for my 20 week appointment( who can blame me for canceling the one on Wednesday after already having spent six hours in the ER? ). Six hours in the ER you ask? Oh, no biggie- just a FENDER BENDER that caused me to lose one day of work officially and then another unofficially in which I pretended to work but really spent the day on the phone with insurance/adjustors/car rentals blah blah blah. And after absorbing the depth of what happened , and getting all test results back clearing us of any concern, I realize that in the truest of Lori fashion I had managed to topple the apple cart exactly one day after I sent out an e-mail to all of my nearest and dearest, bragging about my luck these days...

Anyway- back to that appointment Friday. And I knew what was coming. I saw the scale. It was a big one, the kind they use to weigh folks who have really overdone it. I think someone flipped on Jaws music as I approached it. I whipped off my shoes and contemplated discarding my jewlery as well, because it could weigh a pound or two, right?

I inhaled deeply and hopped on and before I could even consider what an acceptable weight gain might be, a very large and UN-acceptable number showed up on the screen. I may have screamed, but I am not sure. I did ask the nurse for a piece of paper to write down this number. It was so large that I figured I would accidently black it out. Total weight gain at 21 weeks ? TWENTY POUNDS. POUNDS! I said POUNDS! I have now reached a weight I have never reached before. Let's not forget I still have 19 weeks to go AND I am only supposed to gain a grand total of 25 pounds. Doing the math, I am seeing that this is not all adding up properly. Not adding up properly at all.

I managed to make it through the remaining parts of my exam, and bleary eyed- drove from there to the school to teach the second half of the day. As I entered the building in a daze, a few co-workers stopped to ask me about the accident. "Accident? What accident? OH! THAT accident! Yeah, I am fine." In mind that was Wednesday's crisis. And since we have moved on from that- we currently now have some other fish to fry... like the size of my ass. And when I say other fish to fry? It makes me salivate. Fish and chips sounds fantastic.

The accident will be covered by insurance. There are no injuries. Cars can be replaced with just a few phone calls, really. But 20 pounds? Unlike the "accident", this mess was created by weeks of poor decision making as opposed to a more acceptable flash of poor judgement. And eventually I know it will take months to remove. Sigh! Isn't life just a series of peaks and valleys?

Wonder Woman or Hearing Sucks

I thought it was sort of weird this morning when my co-worker/friend's mother called me. I was in the shower and the message, in somewhat broken English, seemed to say she would like me to go and visit her daughter in the hospital. She had a ten pound six ounce baby girl the day before, and I figured maybe her mom just wanted a break to run some errands and didn't want to leave her daughter alone. Or something like that.
I called her mother back and confirmed that I would leave within the hour.
I organized driving directions to the hospital a few suburbs North and back.
I stopped at Dominick's and bought food, mags, gifts to take in.
I canceled my original plans to go and clean my classroom.... not that I minded too much.
I took off and while driving began to surmise what this was all about. Was my friend okay? Did she really reach out for me in a time of need? I felt reliable. Good. Helpful. A great friend.
When I got to the hospital ( by the way, since when do suburban hospitals have the nerve to charge parking rates??) I found her room and lugging my bag of goodies rapped lightly on the door before pushing it in.
The look of shock and awe on my friend's face led me to believe right away that something had literally been lost in translation.
When she spoke I just about DIED.
"OH! My Mom is not with you? She is waiting for you at home to pick her up. It's okay, I will call her and let her know you didn't understand her message."
DOH.
Despite that fact that it's a thirty minute drive I immediately offered to go and pick her up and drop her off ( she doesn't drive ) . But, after a short discussion, we realized schedule conflicts would have made it impossible. So... I sat and held the baby and stayed- feeling slightly stupid for having thought what I had been thinking. I kind of wanted to crawl under a rock. Or at least one of those big x-ray machine thingys.
As I walked back to my car I ingested the full reality of what had just happened. My friend was expecting her mother and instead she got me... a co-worker. A friend, but nothing at all like her mother. And her own siblings hadn't even seen her yet! Not even her close friends!
As my face reddened with embarassment and I paid my two dollar parking fee, I vowed to ask clarifying questions the next time I think I am being summoned for my SuperFriend powers.