Pity Party/Rare Mood

I am in a foul mood. And I want to blog but have started writing ten times (exaggerator!) and each time it comes out so awful (I am NOT dramatic ) you would think I was destitute, alone, broken, and depressed. And I am none of those things. The bottom line is that I am feeling sorry for myself today. Which, in all actuality, I believe one should indulge in once in awhile... if you are actually, physically alone. So no one else has to see the pity party up close and personal. Because it is really pathetic.
One of my most favorite things to do when I find myself pulling the pity card out of my back pocket is to play the "I hate game". Which I am proudly the inventor of. ( And I don't care about ending sentences with a preposition, I am a teacher, I KNOW, but this is how I talk! )
It goes like this:
When depressingly angry, pitiful, annoyed, or just feeling like a total bitch.... you say OUT LOUD everything that you hate. You have to be honest. And don't do it in front of other people unless they are in the kind of mood I am and then you can offer it up. Because you WILL laugh. You will. Believe me. But please don't play unless you are near a trusted friend, otherwise you might find yourself in a straight jacket on the way to somewhere with white beds, electrodes, and bars on the windows.
I am playing by myself tonight. Because I do feel SO irritated and well, I felt like a laugh.
So... here are some of the things I heard myself say out loud... and be prepared, this is NOT nice, nor is it sane. It's a COPING mechanism. So don't call my husband and tell him I am nearing a breaking point. I just like to let it all out.
1. I hate my toe. ( easy one... we already KNOW that! )
2. I hate OnDemand. They don't have Bravo.
3. I hate the jets that fly overhead taking people to nice and fun places. They should be quiet.
4. I hate my garden. It's DUMB. NO cucumbers. I mean, come ON! I have been watering those sorry ass plants all summer religiously, I am so OVER the blooms. I want CUKES!
5. I hate Brody Jenner. He's wearing sunglasses again and it's like.. midnight. Okay. You want me to say it? You are cool. Cooler than me. Is that what you want to hear? I could wear sunglasses TOO if I ever was out at night and was doing cool stuff. Whateva!~
6. I hate my mascara! Like... DUH! I did not paint dark smudges under my eyes BEFORE work this morning, so like what is the DEAL on the dripping thing? It's like... making me look mean and nasty and since I feel mean and nasty it's contributing to my HATING!! Bad mascara bad!
7. I hate my "text" tone. Okay, so I will admit, I LOVE my RING tone, a lovely not-downloaded Carribean elevator thing, but the text noise? Yucky! It's like the lunch bell at a factory and I am not tech savvy and don't know how to switch it. A-NOY-ing.
8. I hate when I make typos. When I was trying to de-compress after a HORRIBLE day at work, I spotted a lovely and luxurious new season of Housewives. And it's in Atlanta. And I immediately thought about CarolynOnLine and all I wanted to do was call her and ask her if she has seen filming/knows the girls/have kids in her kid's classes ( she's tier ONE ) blah blah blah. So when I excitedly posted a comment I had no idea it was Typo City and was so MAD I wanted to find the retract button but couldn't and I was like... I hate THAT!
9. I hate stuff but I am so appalled at my pettiness that I am getting over the hate. And I DON'T hate THAT.
10. I like Miller Chill and the Hills. But don't tell anyone I am getting in a good mood because that would ruin the game.
11. I hate that, umm, I hate that the only news is about the election and that is SO not blog worthy because 99% of people already know who they are voting for. I just want to say that Obama came from a teenage mama so Palin's daughter could be raising the next President of the United States.
12. I hate being wrong. But THANK GOD I haven't been lately. JUST kidding. I have been, and that IS something I hate, however, luckily I surround myself with people that forgive me. I think.
13. I hate that I am a teacher and can't just SAY how I feel about my job and the kids and all of it, becuase then I would break the law. And it's annoying that I feel like sometimes my students, in all of their assininity, have more rights than I do about what I can express.
14. I hate that my world is so small I can get mad at these things. I wonder if I had kids if I would never feel like this or if I would feel like this more. Maybe it would be more like I wouldn't care as much about work because I would feel like I have bigger, and more important things to care about. But I don't. And maybe the bottom line is that I just hate that.
15. I don't actually hate. Heaven forbid my niece heard me... because hate is a dirty word in her world and she has absolutely NO qualms about correcting me. I really love her., I would not like to for her to see this. She would never, ever think this post was acceptable.

Anyway, I am done now. I made myself laugh. It's over. Thanks for listening and sorry if I got you all cranky. Or if you are my mother and you were like... SO NOT surprised I held a pity party this afternoon in MY honor!
There will be cake and pizza in the kitchen in like... thirty minutes.