Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Strangers in the Night

A while back Billy and I were laying in bed, sleeping I assume. I woke to a loud noise and my immediate reaction was to A) make sure my husband was as awake as me and B) to try and guess what the heck the loud metal-ly noise was.
I thought it was a racoon outside our bedroom window doing something awful to our down spout, like riding a ten speed into it. At the time, this was fair considering there were three huge metal cages to catch said animal(s) by our annoying condo association. I was frantically brainstorming a list of all of the possibilites,but felt pretty confident I was bang on. Billy, growing increasingly awake and agitated with my surmising, and being a former cop, told me to be quiet. He grabbed a weapon and a flashlight and began the manly task of patrolling our condo.
I saw him peering through our blinds like a detective on TV. As I layed there quietly and stiffly in bed, I tried to be patient yet couldn't stop my brain from playing out the scenario of shots being fired and in crawls my blood spattered husband and I heroically grab a gun and go after the heroin/meth addict and shoot him down and come back and call 911 and then give my husband CPR and it then momentarily pause because I see him signing I-love-you to me over and over.
Needless to say, he came back to bed unharmed and said he didn't know what "it" was, but "it" seemed to not be in the house or near it for the time being. It sort of lacked the romatice vibe I was going for but bed sounded good. We tried to go back to sleep as if none of this happened.
In the morning, while Billy was getting ready for work and I was halfway between unconscious and alive, I heard him sarcastically exclaim, after opening our closet door... " Well, I think I found your ten speed riding raccoon".
I jumped out of bed and saw my entire walk-in closet wire rack system had fallen to the floor into one hugantic heep of hangers, dress slacks and wool sweaters.
The next day, Billy shored it up with some sturdy reinforcements. Things have been pretty quiet around here since.

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