What is HAPPENING?

I just pulled my dirty camo shorts and pink polo out of the dirty clothes and put them on, to wear again today. I wore that outfit yesterday. And it's dirty. And the flip flops I chose are so near to thier death that I have to put a spare pair in the car in case they snap apart.
What is happening around here?
I used to envision myself being that woman with the very severe blunt bob ( which is totally stupid because my hair is as curly as the day is long ) and those black-framed square glasses. I envisioned ordering 10 word long Starbucks drinks and learning to like shrimp and other fish as well as knowing all the wines I like instead of just asking for a color. And why do they call it white anyway? It's YELLOW and the grapes are GREEN. I am so not sophisticated.
We have hot dogs at least once a week and I still can't pronounce Nicoise even though I have heard it 80 times. I have no idea what the hell is happening in Iraq and when I read an article to get educated my eyes glaze over and I begin to drool. But it's all balloons and confetti when I hear that Jessica Simpson is back ON with Tony.
I am not sure when I became so... immune.
But I am like... totally okay with it. That's the sick part. I look forward to my US Weekly and buying shiny new five dollar earrings from Wal-mart. Yes... Wal-mart! I still shop there! And I know better! I even recently got the suburban requisite Sam's Club card. And I love that too.
I used to wear almost all black. Not goth, but ya know.. urban. And now it's like my closet was raided by a rainbow. I even own a coral t-shirt. CORAL!
Is it just me or am I turning into my worst nightmare? I guess I don't care. These shorts are really comfortable and my earrings are the bomb.